What is truth?

I think it can be justly stated that mankind, as an entity, seeks the truth. I tend to think of myself as someone whose thoughts are based in logic, therefore I base my arguments on fact, or truth, instead of fiction. Yet in our everlasting quest for truth, one must ask somewhere along the way what exactly truth is. There are many versions of the truth. This is true. I substitute "perspective" for "version," yet it still has the same concept. It is sometimes awfully difficult to wade through different perspectives to find the underlying "truth." What one might hold as being "true," another may find false. Herein lies a great problem: not only does one have to sift through different perspectives of truth, on must distinguish opinion from truth. This is probably the hardest task of all. What may be seen as a "truth" may just be a consensus of opinions of a large group. Here is an example: a man, John, lives amongst others in a small community. John comes home to realize something has been stolen. John's neighbor, Jane, broke into his house and stole a book. Later John confronts Jane about the book and in fact sees the book in her possession. She denies stealing, claiming John never owned that book and she has always had that book. When John informs the rest of the community about what had happened, they all say he is wrong. Jane has always had that book and John never did. He verifies this with each person in the community and everyone is in agreement with Jane. In the eyes of the community, John's truth has become John's opinion and the opinion of the Jane and the rest of the community has become truth. Now I ask, is this possible? If a large enough group believes something to be true, even though it is false, does this something become true? Another thing one must consider during their quest for truth is whether or not the quest is always in the best interest. Instead of making another feeble attempt at an example, I direct attention to Oedipus of Oedipus Rex. Oedipus vowed to find the truth and when he did, he discovered such horrible things he gauged out his own eyes. Is knowing the truth always in one's best interest? Or is ignorance bliss? This is something only the individual can answer, for that is where truth ultimately lies.

All for what?

I know it has been some time, but what can you say when you are busy. I mean, hell, I get up at 7:00 M-F, I got to school in the morning and work every evening but Wed,Thur and I work every damn weekend. Most nights it is a blessing if I accomplish 1 of 3 things: homework, quality time with my wife, or sleep. I have yet to really accomplish all three in one night. But that is fine, I have accepted that. That which concerns me most of the time is purpose. What is this all for, really? I am not talking about the here-and-now, but the long run? Some would say we live this life here to prepare for te next. What's next? Every religion has their own version of heaven, but who really knows? They demand blind faith, belief in something you cannot see, touch, here or smell. I have a hard time with this blind faith. Religion was not something ingrained in me since I was young. In turn, every time I explore the different religiouns out there, each and everyone seems a little ridiculous with some of the rules and practices set up. Anyway, thats for another day. Right now I just beg the question: What for? We will live our lives, getting up everyday, going to work, coming home, spending time with family/friends, go to bed and get up and do it all again the next day. And what for? To have your ass shoved in a wooden box and buried 6 ft down to be eaten by the worms.

Sitting in a bunker here behind my wall
Waiting for the worms to come.
In perfect isolation here behind my wall
Waiting for the worms to come.

Alcohol

Growing up I had two parents that drank on a somewhat regular basis. Well, when I started high school my father sat me down and had a talk with me about drinking, partying, doing drugs, etc. His philosophy was split into to parts. First, he acknowledged the fact that if I was to drink I was going to drink and he would be a fool to think he could prevent it. Therefore, I must promise him that I would never drink and drive (and make signs) or get into a car with someone who had been drinking (unless it was him?). And as far as drugs were concerned, don't even bother because when he found out he would "break my goddamned legs." The second part was that since the fact that I was going to drink was recognized, he was going to show me how. We sat down with a pint of Jack Daniel's Whiskey and some Bud Light and went to town. A few shots later and a couple of beers, I paid hommage for the first time to the Great Porcelain God. About a week later was the big test to see if he would abide by his philosophy. I was going to watch a boxing match with some friends. He dropped me off and said he would come get me if needed (this meant walk your ass home unless it is raining). Luck be a lady, it was raining after 12 beers and a bad decision giving Oscar de la Hoya the win. I called my father he came and got me in the work van. I got in and my father said he was hungry and that he was going to get some Long John Silver's. Well, fish grease smells bad enough sober. After having barely kept in everything I just drank, we continued home. All of a sudden, dad starts tapping on the breaks, amusing himself. Well, I was so amused, I vomitted all down the side of his van. Well, this amused him even more. I went home and continued being amused until the wee hours of the morning. Well, bright and early at 6 am my dad woke me with a bucket and rag. He said I needed to clean up my mess before he started his day. Then, after a long day of riding along with him, my headache left me and the lesson finally sank in: walk home, even if it is fucking raining.

Un roseau?

Pascal is quoted as saying, "L'homme n'est qu'un roseau, le plus faible de la nature, mais c'est un roseau pensant." Translated, "Man is but a reed, the weakest in nature, but a thinking reed." Are we so different than a reed? Even with our advanced technologies, we are still defenseless against mother nature. We consider ourselves above the other species in the animal kingdom, yet we have a place in nature that is similar to theirs. One may ask the question, "Was mankind created for the earth, or was the earth created for mankind?" I, myself, believe the former, for recent events and events throughout time have showed us that we are not masters of this earth nor will we ever be. Unfortunately, as a species as a whole, we believe the latter. We treat this planet as if we are a parasite and it our host. But this host survives and will always survive. Through plagues, epidemics, and/or natural disasters, the earth will reach a homeostatic condition. Unless mankind realizes its place in nature, we will go the way of the dinosaur. Man is truly not very different than a reed, we just have the ability to recognize our condition. The problem lies in our belief that we can change that condition.

Red Tape

Can we learn something Katrina & Rita, before something worse comes along? I sure hope so. New Orleans became a frantic mess very quickly, and the worse came out in many locals to just make it a free for all. I thank God it wasn't New York or LA. Next it was Texas turn to evacuate from Rita. Of course this was a lot larger scale of ~2 million people. I sat by watching the exodus on TV, bumper to bumper on the northbound Interstate, traveling at a snails pace, and I ask, Why is this? Helicopters should be dispatched to the front of the slow parade of cars & find out what's causing the bottleneck and correct it. Police should be posted at the major entrance ramps, holding up the right lane of Interstate travelers at intervals when necessary, to direct oncoming cars in an orderly fashion. I could see that within hours, cars would be overheating and running out of gas to completely plug up the works. The announcer mentioned the southbound lanes to Dallas were closed to all motorist except for Emergency vehicles. Then it occurred to me I had been watching those four lanes empty the whole time, not one Emergency vehicle. Why not open the three inner southbound lanes for the northbound cars to travel, and reserve the far right southbound lane for those Emergency vehicles. Where were all the auto traffic controllers gathering? Hours later the inevitable happened. So now they can justify using the southbound lanes for National Guard Tankers and Tow trucks to give away more gas to idle with, and tow off those disabled vehicles. Why didn't I think of that? Who needs terrorist, when you have Mother Nature and the different Governments creating havoc.

Weekend Story

Every Friday I am going to try and post a story for the weekend. I don't know how much posting I will get to do à la fin de la semaine, so I will leave something to enjoy.

My late father and I used to make frequent trips to the hospital for weekly check-ups. The trips were not too horrible for me, it was only an hour drive, but my father never cared for them. He used to say, "All they do is squeeze my lump (a defect in his stomach which resulted from appendicitis) and shove a finger up my ass!" Well, after years of going to that particular hospital, we finally got him switched to a much, much better hospital. The first visit we amazed us. They did more for him in one day than they did for him in years. He was ecstatic. He bragged and boasted about how happy he was that not once had they "squeezed his lump and shoved a finger up his ass."
At the end of the evening the doctor was making his rounds when he entered my father's room. "Do you need anything?" he asked. My father complained about not being able to find a single crossword puzzle in a single newspaper. The doctor left and returned with an intact copy of the day's newspaper. My father thanked him and began to boast to the doctor about how happy he was that they were leaving his prostate alone. An uneasy look came over the doctor's face and immediately my father knew. "Well, " said the doctor, "that is actually why I came by. We need to have it on file that I checked you prostate." "I see," exclaimed my father, "so you were just buttering me up with the newspaper." The doctor chuckled and assured him the newspaper had nothing to do with the exam.
At that point the doctor asked if I wanted to leave the room. I put up no fight whatsoever and stood in the hallway. Moments later something loud bellowed out of the room: "Goddamn, are you diggin' for gold?" I walked into the room to see my father laughing hysterically and the doctor as red as a tomato. I wish that I, too, can have such an outlook on life when death is staring me in the face.

Plum Exhausted

I will have to say after the aforementioned late nights and early mornings, it is starting to catch up with me. I have so much to do but all I want to do is sleep. After viewing my Uncle's newest website (http://mysite.verizon.net/resqkwne/crainhollowtrail/) I now long to be "home". I say "home" instead of home because I don't know if that truly is my home anymore. I have been away for three years now and there isn't really too much which ties me there anylonger. Due to unfortunate circumstances, my mother and my father left this world in 2000 and 2001, respectively, and my relationship with my siblings has dwindled to almost nothing. I look at it as if I am the asshole of us remaining four. Asshole! I am often told I am negative, cold, and unsupportive (that was added recently to the LONG list) by my sisters. But I don't see it as being cold or negative or unsupportive. I am REALISTIC. I don't know why people, and these two are definitely guilty, fill themselves full of shit and then turn to convince others of the golden oppurtunities, great circumstances and whatever else they call it. Life is not that good. There are not AMAZING opportunities just for you out there. Most people land were they are because of luck. Sometimes it is bad luck: you get hit by a firetruck. Sometimes it is good luck: you get hit by an ambulance.

Late nights, early mornings

It seems that sleep is no longer that important to me anymore. Although I fully comprehend how late it is and how early I need to be awake, I procrastinate. That seems to be a general theme throughout my life, but I try to work it. It seems if I fix one thing, another breaks.

I discussed with a dear friend about writing a book. I enjoy writing and I enjoy researching, but I never bring myself to actually sit down and write. I know I type here, but it is different. These are short thought processes, an emptying of an almost full container, certainly not a complete dumping. Hopefully together we can pull something together. If we were writing a movie, I think we would have a main scene.

Another day of class today, and I realize this quarter will be more challenging than any of the ones before. I tell myself, "This is it, just a couple more, and I am finished" but it really doesn't sink in. I actually enjoy school, but I hate juggling school, work, and a relationship/social life/relaxation.

Back in the groove

I started back at the university today and, boy, was it tough getting out of bed. I had an assignment to do last night (yeah, before classes even started) and I procrastinated due to some pretty good episodes of Law & Order. I was pleasantly surprised to receive a phone call from an old friend about a rather odd email he had received. Thinking it was I who had played the joke on him (the email was addressed to fuckhead), he had wanted to set it straight: it was Mr. Fuckhead. After a lengthy conversation, I returned to the television to finish the fifth "this-is-the-last-episode-and-I-will-start-my-homework" when a healthy debate regarding the death penalty broke out amongst me and my fellow habitateurs. I personally do not agree with the death penalty. I believe it is a barbaric form of punishment which should cease to exist like other extinct practices such as slavery, denial of universal suffrage, etc. Of course, I enjoy arguing and will often argue a point to the point of exhaustion of either the topic or the other people in the debate. Well, finally at 12:30 a.m. when all was said concerning the death penalty, I met with my good friend Maxwell House and we started that homework assignment.